Of endings and beginnings

About 5 minutes ago, I just printed my last ever requirement for school. I've started celebrating my freedom last Friday after my last Philosophy orals (omg, I couldn't be happier to say goodbye to that!) but it has not really sunk in yet that college, or better yet, my whole academic life is finally over. That's 20 years of formal education, and I can't believe the day that marks the end of it was so.... unepic. Haha. After I had my orals, I stayed in the library (Yes, may pahabol na library effect) and just left after a couple of hours. That was probably the last time I would ever step inside the Rizal Library. I expected fireworks.

What can I say about my college life?

Just like any other thing in this world, it had its ups and downs. I've had loads of wonderful and fun times and I couldn't deny that it has introduced me to a whole lot of new people and whole different world. I don't know if this would sound crazy but I actually didn't know Katipunan "existed" before talks about college started coming up in 3rd year high school. And I couldn't help but think that Katipunan would cease to exist once again in my life after graduation *insert sad face*.

I've cried a total of 5 or 6 times due to mental and emotional breakdowns, the most memorable being the one during 3rd year when Marketing plus Opman stress took its toll on me. I was having lunch with Ven in Jollibee Petron (the one beside La Vista), and little did I know, my cardigan fell out of the car when I opened the door. When I came back for it, the parking dude said that he "didn't see it" (LIES). So I cried the entire way back to Ateneo (with traffic). I wasn't even upset about the cardigan. I can't even remember now how it looked like. I just needed to cry. I'm a crybaby.

So the question is, what now?

People say that once I start working, it would come with saying how much I miss school. I don't doubt that I'd probably say that too, but right now, I'm just glad to be released from the shackles of an institution where grades are everything. I know people also say that "grades do not define you", but I beg to disagree. Grades DO define you. And it's not even that I let grades define me, but it seems like I have no other choice. As much as I didn't want to care sometimes, it's just not possible, especially if I want to get far in life. Hence, all the crying.

I don't have a clear-cut picture yet of where I'm going to end up. I just have blurry ones. Hehe. But I'm excited. I've always looked forward to working (says the capitalist side of me). Don't rain on my parade, you working people. But yeah, sending out applications, going to job interviews, it has all become real. It's not anymore simply imagining what it would be like to work somewhere. There is now the actual possibility of working there, wherever that is. Like I said, blurry. Blurry, but hopefully, becomes definite. SOON!